Kj! – Feel No Way

Feel No Way was started in January 2021 in the midst of our first year in Covid. Specifically, I wrote it right after I had caught Covid for the first time and was really struggling with that along with my general inability to be active as a means to cope with my own ADHD. I was going through burnout, relationship struggles, disordered sleep and eating, the pandemic, a new living situation, and plenty else, and everything felt like it was collapsing at once. So Feel No Way was one of many songs I wrote trying to process those feelings, to speak and order them somewhat.

I historically have drawn a lot of confidence from the work that I put into things. I felt that confidence was earned, and, right before Covid, was incredibly confident because I felt I was earning it, putting in more work than anyone I knew, staying focused and dedicated, and doing a lot of things I felt I could be proud of. Covid hindered my ability to work as well as I wanted to, which also really severely damaged my confidence and sense of self. I got to a place where every time I would try to write it would feel like it wouldn’t be as good as the rhymes I had used to write when I had the proper time and energy to dedicate to my craft. That’s what the first verse came from, one of those nights where it felt like I just couldn’t produce the same product I used to and wanted to, and that really hurt. The second verse, then, came from that as well as my desire to talk about the things I was going through.

Everybody who knows me knows Childish Gambino is my favorite artist, and Camp is the album that got me into hip hop. I remember listening to that album and feeling so deeply related to and seen, in a way I had never felt before. He was so honest about the things he was going through, and it made me feel like I wasn’t the only one going through the things I was. The second and third verse were me trying to recreate his bald, glaring honesty, and the effect it had on me as a young listener and developing artist. Eventually the whole song got finished.

Upon listen back then, and still sometimes now, I would flip flop between feeling incredibly related to by the second verse, and thinking it was incredibly whiny. So one day as I was listening back to my drafts and listening to that song, I decided to rewrite the second verse because I figured the first and third were so good it would still work as long as I had a good enough second verse.

I still go back and forth over which version of the track I like more, but I love the overarching picture they present together and next to each other, which is why I released them together.